Autumn

It's looking beautiful outside with a lot more still to come. I love the changing colors of the leaves and the crisp fall air. This weekend we're going to take the kids on a hayride near my mom and dad's house. We go every year and we all really enjoy it. Christopher prefers the non scary hayride while everyone else goes on the scary one. At 16 and 14 I think Louis and Sarah go just to reconnect with their youth. We've gone since they were babies and it's fun to go on the hayride and them pick some pumpkins. They also have a corn maze. Hopefully the corn will be tall enough this year. One year they went in the corn maze and you could their heads above the corn as they walked through. :)

I'm making a pot roast in the crockpot for dinner tonight. I put in two cans of beef stock, one can of diced tomatoes, a bay leaf. I brown the pot roast before I put it in the crockpot. Right after browning the meat I sautee an onion in the same pan and then add that too. I add baby carrots to cook along with it and I'll make mashed potatoes. It's a family favorite.

I'm trying to live a thankful life. God has blessed me with so much. I'm carrying around a hurt right now that never leaves. I have good days and bad days. I recently heard a lesson on how to forgive Christians who knowingly hurt you. A lot of what they said made a lot of sense to me. I need to start practicing the things that God has been showing me and not running away. It feels easier to run away sometimes but in the end I just wind up lost. I'll make my way back to the Lord only to realize that He was right there with me all the time. He is my ever present help in times of trial. He is near to the broken hearted and he does save those who are crushed in spirit. I just don't see a lot of tangible change right now. I'm walking completely by faith right now that God will honor His promises.

My children are such a blessing to me. They are the reason I've gotten through these hard times. I view myself as the mother bear who when faced with someone wanting to hurt her cubs will do whatever it takes to protect them. Even if it means her life. I lay down my life for my children. What would I gain if I gain everything I wanted for myself and leave in the wake the crushed spirits of my children. What a poor trade that would be.